Ever wondered what your baby would say if they could text you? Spoiler: They have a lot of opinions. If babies had phones, here’s what those late-night, chubby-fingered messages would look like.
The Midnight Messages
👶: “Hey. You up?”
👶: “Hello?”
👶: “I threw my pacifier. Now I regret it.”
👶: “Mom?”
👶: “Okay, I’ll cry.”
The Fashion Feedback
👶: “You’re putting me in that onesie? Bold choice.”
👶: “Why are my socks always disappearing? Is it a game?”
👶: “I refuse to wear a hat. It’s a NO from me.”
Dining Critic Reviews
👶: “Sweet potatoes again? I expected more.”
👶: “Actually, I’d like my bottle at precisely 3:47 a.m. Please be prompt.”
👶: “I will be wearing most of this meal as an accessory.”
Car Ride Commentary
👶: “Why do I instantly fall asleep here? Are you a wizard?”
👶: “Wait, we’re stopped. UNACCEPTABLE.”
👶: “Back to moving. All is forgiven.”
The Toy Debates
👶: “You got me a toy phone? I want YOUR phone.”
👶: “Yes, I’ll play with this box for hours.”
👶: “But this very expensive toy? Nah.”
Cuddle Contracts
👶: “Hold me forever. Don’t even think about putting me down.”
👶: “I’m fine…wait, never mind. Pick me up!”
👶: “Okay, fine. I’m crawling away now. Independence!”
Diaper Drama
👶: “I just went…a lot.”
👶: “I’m pretending I don’t notice. Your move.”
👶: “Oh, you’re changing me now? WRESTLING MATCH.”
The Great Escape
👶: “Look at me, scooting across the floor. Freedom awaits!”
👶: “If I touch this thing you said ‘no’ to, will you react? Let’s see…”
👶: “Caught me again. Must perfect my stealth.”
Let’s be honest, if your baby could text, your phone would never stop buzzing. But for now, their sleepy smiles, tiny giggles, and endless curiosity are more than enough communication. Enjoy every hilarious, chaotic moment with your little one—they’re writing memories you’ll cherish forever.
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